A Nice Day for a Cowboy Wedding Page 13

  This is mine.

  But he had to protect what was his. He sighed heavily, glancing over at Ben’s cabin. Ben was assigned to the branding crew this morning, but they should be done with their work by now, which meant Ben was likely there.

  Alone, with no possibility of interruption from his mother.

  Shane was not a man who shirked a responsibility, so it was weird to find himself dragging his feet, finding excuses, taking too damn long to finish up the fence maintenance. Hard work, protecting his family, these were not things he shied away from.

  Being open and honest were. Allowing some of that strength to slip, in order to put plain what it was that worried him. Because he didn’t worry. He fixed.

  Which wasn’t working for this particular situation. So, Shane cleaned up his tools and placed them in the back of the work vehicle. He reminded himself this was all a part of protecting his family, and for that, he would do anything.

  He drove over to Ben’s cabin and didn’t let himself stop to think or even plan what he was going to say, though that might have been prudent. But he needed to man up and do this.

  Shane walked across the yard and rapped on Ben’s door. When Ben opened it, Shane noticed with an odd bolt of concern that the man looked a little haggard. But he scowled at Shane, and it was easy for the concern to melt away.

  “What do you want?” Ben grumbled, standing in the opening, clearly blocking it.

  “May I come in?”

  Ben narrowed his eyes, not bothering to hide how suspicious he was. “Let me guess, you’re going to threaten me.”

  “No, Ben.”

  “Pay me to disappear?”

  Shane blinked. That hadn’t even occurred to him. He noted, with a sinking heart, that the man seemed a little eager.

  “Would that work?”

  Ben’s expression hardened. “No, it damn well wouldn’t, asshole.”

  Shane felt some mix of despair and relief. Hell, if it were that easy, this would all be over. But it would mean Mom was just as big of a fool as he’d been years ago, and he didn’t want that for her.

  “We should talk,” Shane said forcefully. “Talk, not bicker like high school girls.”

  Ben snorted, and Shane thought maybe that was something akin to a laugh. After a few seconds of study, Ben moved toward the side and let Shane step in.

  The cabin was ruthlessly neat, which wasn’t what Shane had expected. There didn’t seem to be any personal belongings, which struck Shane as off. Wouldn’t a man have his own things around? His boots by the door or his hat on the rack?

  Or maybe Shane was just looking for things to be off and wrong. Maybe he needed to stop looking for everything bad, and start with a blank slate.

  “You got a piece to say, you go ahead.”

  Shane nodded. He noted Ben did not offer him a seat, so they stood like squared off brawlers on opposite sides of the room.

  “I don’t like that you lied about your references, and I’ve let that color a lot of our interactions. Because to me trust is paramount, and by marrying my mother you are asking to be part of our family. I need to be able to trust you.”

  “Funny, I see it as just marrying your mother, and it’s got nothing to do with you.”

  “She’s my mother.”

  “And a grown woman,” Ben replied with a negligent shrug.

  “Maybe if you could tell me why you lied,” Shane offered, trying to maintain his calm, his control.

  “Nope.”

  Shane clenched his jaw so he wouldn’t retort irritably. He breathed in through his nose, out through his mouth. “I’m trying to bridge a gap here.”

  Ben folded his arms over his chest. “You think I’m stupid, boy?”

  “I’m still your boss. Don’t ‘boy’ me.” Which was not the right tact to take, but he’d told Cora he’d be open and honest. That didn’t mean he’d ignore disrespect. Or general assholishness.

  “You want to pretend to hold hands and be friends now because your mom ain’t budging. Maybe if you show her you’ve cozied up all nice, you think you can whisper a few key things into her ear and change her mind. No. I’m not falling for it. I won’t lose her because of you, or any of you.”

  “Maybe if you gave us an inch, you wouldn’t have to be worried about losing her because of us.”

  “If I tell you why I lied, would it change anything? Or would you still see me as a younger man looking for a cushy ride? Like I said, I ain’t stupid, and I’m not falling for this. I might’ve once, but I’ve lived and learned.”

  “Yeah, me too,” Shane muttered. Lived and learned not to trust someone to ever have his best interest at heart. Learned to be implacable because giving something to someone else he hadn’t been sure about had always led him to loss and hurt. So he always did the right thing, the good thing, even when it was an uphill battle or a sure failure.

  Ben gestured at the door. “You can go now.”

  Shane could. He could go and write Ben off, and yet that wasn’t what he’d come here to do. Much as he hated it with every fiber of his being, he’d come to the conclusion that talking it out was the right thing to do.

  “I don’t trust you, Ben. I don’t much like you. But I love my mother, and I want her to be happy. No, I can’t sway her opinion. Not sure I ever could. But I also can’t stand the idea of her getting hurt. The possibility of it physically pains me.”

  Ben’s expression didn’t change, but he also didn’t move to kick Shane out, so Shane kept talking. Honest as he could.

  “I also worry about this ranch, and what my mother’s marrying anyone would do to it. My great-great-great-grandfather built this place and turned the very earth we’re standing on, and it’s a part of my soul. The fact of the matter is you haven’t given me any damn reason to feel comfortable with your sniffing around either. So, all I’m asking for is a little honesty. A piece of yourself so I can try to accept that I’ve got nothing to worry about.”

  For a second or two, Shane held his breath. Something had changed in Ben’s expression, almost a softening. A sadness instead of an anger, and Shane was both hopeful and terrified the man would offer something worthwhile. That a little truth and honesty were really the answer.

  “Ain’t nobody ever done anything good with a piece of me,” Ben said, though his voice had a hint of gravel to it that hadn’t been there earlier. He gestured toward the door again, and Shane sighed.

  There was no getting through to this man, so he turned and walked away. He’d been honest, asked for honesty in return, and gotten jack. There was no reasoning with someone who didn’t have a shred of decency in him.

  Shane jerked the door open, but before he could step outside, Ben’s quiet, strained voice stopped him.

  “I don’t want your damn ranch. All I want is Deb.”

  When Shane looked over his shoulder at Ben, the man was scowling.

  Ben pointed outside again. “So, why don’t you fuck off and leave me alone, huh?”

  But something awful had happened in that moment. Shane had seen a flash of insecurity, maybe even fear in Ben’s eyes, as if the admission had cost him something. As if he was a man like any other, not good or some evil boogey man, but a complicated middle ground.

  Which was the absolute last thing Shane wanted him to be.

  Chapter Thirteen

  Cora wanted nothing more than a massage and to sleep, both at the same time. She didn’t think phone calls and babysitting should make her quite so exhausted, but she had put a lot of steps in keeping Aiden happy by walking him around the office. Then Lilly had insisted they take a hike out to a place they could possibly get a permit to hold weddings at.

  Cora wanted a giant steak and a glass of wine before that sleep and massage, but pizza would have to do. She couldn’t possibly face cooking or the near hour it would take to drive to a restaurant that served steak, or listen to Micah bitch about either.

  Luckily, since they’d eaten with the Tylers last night, it meant they hadn’t
had pizza last night, which meant they could have it tonight. Parenting at its finest.

  As she drove through the archway to the Tyler ranch, some of her exhaustion eased. It didn’t go away or anything, but it softened. The set of her shoulders relaxed of its own volition.

  She didn’t have any right to feel all those things when this wasn’t hers, but the ranch was something like magic. The people in it magical as well.

  That little insidious voice always telling her things wouldn’t work out whispered that this wasn’t hers and never could be. She was kidding herself setting up dates and talking about honesty and heart-to-hearts when she knew without a shadow of a doubt she’d never be able to tell Shane about her past.

  Shane was a protector. A solver. Not only would he look down at her for what she’d allowed, but he would treat her differently. Probably like she was something fragile or breakable, or worse, the stupid, weak girl she’d been when she’d been desperate for Stephen’s love.

  It was unfathomable to think of admitting anything about that time to Shane.

  When she drove her car around the bend, and the big, pretty house came into view, Shane and Gavin were standing in the yard with her son. Playing catch. Such a stereotypical father-son activity, it about ripped her in two.

  The Tyler ranch couldn’t be for her, but couldn’t it be for him? Her past would be a secret worth keeping if Micah was getting the kind of male companionship she’d always wanted for him.

  Shane turned and waved at the sound of her car. The giant grin splitting Micah’s face didn’t even dim at the sight of her. Things were improving like they had been before Stephen had interfered and ruined everything.

  Cold fear washed over her. Could Stephen find this place? Could he ruin this for Micah too? For her? She was taking precautions with her lawyer, but the basketball camp debacle proved laws and all the precautions she took on her own couldn’t keep them safe from Stephen.

  The only thing that kept her from running was the fact that Stephen wasn’t all that interested in them. He never showed up, which would have broken the restraining order. He only ever sent things. A reminder he had more than they ever would.

  She wouldn’t live in fear, though it was a constant, gnawing worry that someday he might act, not just scare.

  Cora brought the car to a stop with so many emotions pummeling her she was a little afraid if someone even smiled at her, she would cry.

  She had to be stronger than that for her baby. She’d promised herself she would be. She couldn’t go back on that promise.

  Cora forced herself out of the car with a bright smile on her face. “I thought you hated baseball,” she offered to Micah as cheerfully as she could manage.

  Micah shrugged. “Shane said I was wrong and he’d prove it to me.”

  There was so much joy in that simple statement. Cora was reminded she had to believe in good things. That they were possible for Micah and her. If she believed, it could be true. It could work.

  “Baseball is awfully slow and boring if you ask me.” Cora smiled sweetly at Shane and Gavin, who both put their hands to their hearts simultaneously as if they’d been mortally wounded by the same bullet.

  “Only someone who doesn’t understand could possibly call it slow and boring.”

  Cora shrugged her shoulders. “If you say so.”

  “That does it. We’re going to have to take you both to a Rockies game and prove it to you.”

  “No way. Seriously?” Micah asked, wide-eyed.

  “We can get back and forth from Denver in a day if we catch a day game. And if your mom agrees.”

  Cora didn’t relish the prospect of heading back to Denver. She hadn’t been back since they’d escaped Stephen, and there were no happy memories to make her want to return.

  But, the smile on Micah’s face was everything she needed to know. He was excited. He wanted to do it, and it was the kind of normal activity she wanted to be able to offer her child. “I think it’d be great if we can coordinate it.”

  “Great. We’ll work something out. We Tylers are headed up to The Slice is Right for dinner. Do you guys want to come?”

  Micah looked expectantly at her, and Cora hesitated. This was getting to be almost too much. Too involved. If something happened . . . She pushed any doomsday thinking out of her head. Bad things could always happen, but living life trying to avoid them wasn’t living.

  “That’d be great. I was planning on picking up a pizza for dinner anyway.” It dawned on her then that Deb wasn’t here. “Are you just going out to eat because your mother isn’t here to cook for you?”

  “Naturally,” Shane replied.

  “Don’t you think it’s a little bit ridiculous two grown men can’t cook dinner for themselves?”

  “As if my mother ever let us near a kitchen. It’s not our fault she raised us a little useless,” Gavin offered.

  “It’s not like you can cook, Mom,” Micah piped in.

  She glared down at him. “Which is why I know how important it is that you learn how to.”

  Micah rolled his eyes, but he quickly turned to Shane. “Is Boone going?”

  Shane and Gavin both tensed, but Shane did the best job of smoothing it out and replying to Micah blandly.

  “Haven’t seen him around today. If it’s okay with your mom, you can go find him and invite him.”

  Micah looked up at her so hopefully she couldn’t have said no if she wanted to. “Just in the stables and the house. Otherwise you need to stay within eyesight.”

  Micah bounded off toward the stables without a second look, and Cora tried not to worry. It was good for him to be exploring things on his own, learning things on his own, and, if her heart was being ripped out of her chest while she let him wander around without supervision, well, she’d have to learn how to deal with that.

  “He’ll be fine,” Shane reassured.

  Cora smiled thinly. It didn’t help her worry any, but she appreciated that he’d try.

  “I’ll go see if Molly wants to come,” Gavin said. “Might call Lou and Em.”

  “Yeah, whoever wants to,” Shane agreed, but his eyes never left Cora, and she couldn’t pretend she didn’t like that.

  Gavin walked toward the house, and Shane gestured toward the driveway. “Want to take a walk? Like, say, this path that will give us a direct line of sight into the stables, and also keep the house in view.”

  “You’re a smart man, Shane Tyler.”

  “I know a thing or two about worry.” They walked in a comfortable silence for a few moments before Shane broke it.

  “So, I talked to Ben.”

  Her eyebrows went up, though maybe she shouldn’t have been surprised. In her experience, most men didn’t do much of what they didn’t want to—and she knew Shane didn’t want to. But Shane wasn’t like most men she’d known. “How’d it go?”

  “I don’t think it went well, but I don’t think it went awful. Which, quite frankly, doesn’t help me any.”

  “What did he say?”

  Shane shook his head. “A bunch of bluster about not owing me an explanation. He wasn’t going to explain himself to anybody for anything, and I was getting pretty damn irritated. Sure it was pointless and all. But as I was leaving, he said he didn’t want anything to do with the ranch. All he wanted was my mom.”

  “Aww.”

  Shane scowled. “Not aww. No awws.”

  “Of course it’s an aww. He loves your mother, and he was willing to offer some piece of truth after not wanting to, to prove it. I think that’s progress.”

  “I know you’re right. A very weird kind of progress.” Shane stopped walking and turned to face her. He had such a handsome face, so strong and honest. Even when he smiled with mischief in his eyes. “So. Your end of the bargain?”

  God, he was cute. “I don’t have a definitive answer, but I have a couple potential things. Will and Tori are going to see if Micah wants to go on this rock climbing thing, which I’m hoping he declines with all of
my heart. If he doesn’t want that, Sam and Hayley are going to see if he wants to do a camping thing with them, and Brandon and Lilly will come up with something if all else fails.”

  Shane reached out and brushed his fingers across her temple. Cora’s stomach wobbled as he slowly tucked a strand of hair behind her ear, his fingertips touching every inch of skin they could. She couldn’t remember if anyone had ever touched her quite like that. Gently and reverently, with his eyes on her like she was the center of the universe.

  “I’ll work with whatever day.”

  “Good. And it will be soon,” she assured, because, oh, she wanted more of this, of him. More than a few minutes, even in this beautiful place.

  “You know, in the meantime . . .” His mouth inched toward hers, and, because she was feeling a little giddy over all this want and anticipation, she blinked fake innocently up at him.

  “In the meantime what?”

  He grinned. Still touching her face, his mouth inching closer.

  “Mom!”

  Cora jumped back with a start, though that was probably silly. Micah was jogging out of the stables and probably hadn’t seen a thing.

  She would have to tell him what was going on, though. Probably before she went on a date with Shane. Because this wasn’t just some date for the heck of it. It wasn’t a night out to get all the edginess out of her system. It was Shane. And it was somehow scarily important.

  Figuring out how to explain it to her twelve-year-old was beyond daunting.

  “I guess ‘in the meantime’ will have to wait,” Cora offered with an apologetic smile.

  “I can wait. Long as it takes.”

  And she had no doubt that that’s exactly what he meant.

  * * *

  Stuffed with pizza, his cheeks hurting a bit from smiling so damn much at Cora over the table, Shane walked out of The Slice is Right feeling good. Light. He was still worried about Mom, Ben, the wedding, Boone, et cetera, and et cetera. But it wasn’t the same as it had been.

  Part of it was hanging out with his family. When nothing felt at peace, just being around them for a meal often reminded him they were surviving. Tylers endured. Always had. Always would.