A Nice Day for a Cowboy Wedding Page 12

  “Tylers aren’t known for their heart-to-hearts. As wonderful as my mom is, as connected as we all are, there’s a separateness. Molly said something I’d forgotten. When I was a kid, Dad always used to tell us Tylers don’t cry. Scraped a knee, mad about some prank Boone played, Tylers don’t cry.”

  “That’s silly. Kids have to cry,” Cora said, frowning.

  “I don’t think he could stand to see us hurt. I also think that saying might’ve dug into each of us a little warped. So, I think you’re absolutely right. I think we need to forget fear, and embrace a little connection.”

  Her mouth slowly curved. “You look like you’re going to be sick.”

  “To be honest, I look that way because I feel that way.”

  She moved her fingers under his hand, against his chest, watching their fingers touching with consideration. A consideration that hit him a bit like a punch to the gut. That need and want he couldn’t allow to take over.

  “How about this. Instead of spying on Ben tonight, we think about getting to the bottom of this in a new way. You can talk to Ben one-on-one. Man-to-man. Lay out your concerns and your feelings, and we can go from there. I think that’s a good idea.”

  “Even if it sounds horrendous in every way.”

  She chuckled. “How about this. To ease the horrendous, and sort of pre-reward you for your emotional bravery—”

  He snorted, but she continued.

  “I’ll be honest with you. I have a lot of insecurities, and the fact that you’re a good guy is intimidating to me.” She swallowed, but her eyes never left his. “I really like you a lot, and I’m attracted to you. But I don’t know how to build a relationship. Especially when I’ve got a kid and this job I’m trying to succeed at. I’m so afraid of failing that I don’t want to try.”

  He took a step forward, but she held him off by withdrawing her hand from his. He stopped too, because he knew she was doing the thing they were all scared to do. Opening up, explaining, allowing herself to be scrutinized and judged. “But even though I’m nervous and unsure, I want you to take me out to dinner some time. On a date.”

  “You name the date. I’ll figure out a place.”

  “But it’s a bargain. If we go out, you have to do the Ben heart-to-heart.”

  Shane shuddered. “Please stop calling it that.”

  She laughed, so he allowed himself to as well.

  “On one other condition,” he said, pressing his lips together so he wouldn’t grin down at her.

  “What’s that?” she asked with a little smirk.

  He didn’t answer her. Instead he leaned down and kissed her again. He soaked up the way she melted into him in the hopes it would blot out all the fear inside of him.

  Chapter Twelve

  When Cora dropped Micah off at the Tylers the next morning, there was a new kind of nervousness fluttering around in her stomach. Though she trusted the Tylers with Micah, most especially Shane, it wasn’t easy to leave her baby somewhere while she went off and worked. She wasn’t sure that wormy little feeling of guilt would ever go away.

  Watching Micah bound over to the Tyler front porch where Shane, Gavin, and Boone had already congregated was a balm to all that worry though. Micah was excited, and every day he tried to hide that excitement a little less. He’d loved basketball camp, and being on teams and whatnot, but this was something else. It lit him up in a way she’d never seen, and she wanted that light to grow and grow and grow.

  Before she could back out and head over to Mile High to take care of some paperwork, Shane held up a hand and started walking over. She didn’t mind waiting, not when she got to watch him walk. Cowboy hat down, shoulders back, a self-possessed swagger that never fell toward arrogant. Just a man who knew what he was doing and was going to work damn hard to do it.

  She allowed herself a dreamy sigh before she rolled down the window at his approach.

  “Morning,” he offered, tipping his hat in what must be some kind of ingrained gesture. She liked it, liked pretending he was some romantic, Wild West cowboy about to sweep her off her feet.

  Get a grip, girl.

  “Morning,” she returned.

  “So.” He leaned his forearm against the top of her car.

  “So,” she replied, grinning stupidly at him.

  “I don’t suppose you’ve figured out a night you’ve got free.”

  “I don’t suppose you’ve had a heart-to-heart with your potential future stepfather.”

  He winced, then shuddered dramatically. “All of those words need to stop being uttered.”

  She laughed. Oh, she liked him an awful lot too much, and it was hard to care on pretty mountain mornings when he was this nice to look at.

  “I’m working on it.” Though, she had to admit, part of taking her time making arrangements for Micah was seeing if Shane would push it. If he’d ask again, or simply let it all fall apart. Maybe a little warped, but she needed a few days to be sure of this. “Finding someone to watch Micah without him getting angry about being too old for babysitters is a bit of a balancing act.”

  “He could come,” Shane offered easily. So easily, as if there wasn’t a question or an ulterior motive.

  Cora glanced at where Micah stood looking enraptured at Boone. None of the guys she’d been with, including Micah’s own father, had much cared for Micah’s presence. But Shane seemed so sincere. Her son could just come on their date.

  But it opened a whole well of... things. Feelings and complications that already existed because Micah was wrapped up in the Tylers now.

  “I’ll make sure Boone’s not a bad influence, if that’s what’s worrying you.”

  Cora wasn’t sure what to make of the way Shane talked about his youngest brother, but she didn’t have the same impression of Boone that Shane seemed to. “I’m not worried about your brother’s being a bad influence. I wouldn’t leave Micah here if I thought anyone would be one.”

  “Boone’s a good kid, but he’s been out with the rodeo for too many years. He cusses and tells inappropriate stories and takes too many risks.”

  Cora had to stifle a laugh. “First, you might want to accept that your brother is no longer a ‘kid.’ I don’t think he’s that much younger than I am.”

  Shane grunted with a frown. “I’ve told him to watch his language, but he doesn’t listen to me much. I’ll work on it though. And if he can’t knock it off, I won’t let him be around Micah.”

  Cora felt something like awe wash through her. She’d raised her child with an abusive man in their lives for too long. She worried about everything when it came to Micah—but not language or inappropriate stories. It was ludicrous and yet somehow adorable Shane would consider all that something to keep her son away from. “Micah will survive all that.”

  Could Micah survive her ruining all this if she dated Shane and it didn’t work out? She chewed on her bottom lip and looked from Micah to Shane. “I already know the answer, but I have to ask, for my own peace of mind. If we do this date thing, try to start something, and it went ugly . . . I need to know Micah could still have this.”

  “Not a question. He’s always welcome here, and there are plenty of people he could work with if he ever didn’t want to work with me. Molly’s doing most of the horse teaching. Gavin could handle all the chore instruction. Micah’s got a place here no matter how he or you feel about me.”

  “What about how you’d feel about me?”

  Shane moved so that his elbows rested on the rolled down window of her car door, his body leaning down and in so that his face was close to hers. She could smell what she assumed was his soap or deodorant, clean and piney. His eyes were a dark brown, serious and completely focused on her.

  “Nothing that could happen would change the fact that Micah is welcome here. That’s a promise, and I don’t go back on a promise.”

  She wanted to sigh dreamily again, and all those anticipation nerves she was supposed to be avoiding, to be a better mother, a better person, they w
ere back tenfold, and she wanted to roll around in them.

  Shane was a good man. Not her usual mistake. Surely it wouldn’t be so bad to anticipate a little. Indulge a lot. A man who didn’t go back on his promises . . . Well, that wasn’t something she’d predicted. She should be flexible. She couldn’t eradicate all fun from her life just because she was a mother and a career woman.

  “Our first date should probably be just us,” she said, trying to keep how much she wanted out of her voice.

  His mouth curved. “I can deal with that.” Then that curved mouth leaned closer. “They’re in the stables,” he murmured.

  She darted a gaze to the stables, then to the front porch where they’d been, finding both empty. Anticipation was like a drug she couldn’t get enough of—until it all crashed to a halt. “Your mother isn’t though.”

  Shane whipped his head back toward the house so quick it was a miracle he didn’t hit it on some part of the car door.

  Deb and Molly were on the front porch, clearly watching Cora and Shane with avid interest. Cora didn’t know exactly how all this worked. Families and ties and good people.

  Shane cleared his throat. “Well, it’s not as though I’m going to pretend I’m not going out with you.” Then he leaned in through the window and brushed his lips across her cheek. It was quick and more friendly than romantic, and yet it was a clear . . . thing.

  Deb and Molly would know, and when Cora screwed this all up—which she inevitably would, because when did she not?—everyone would know she was to blame, because it could never possibly be Shane the Great.

  She pushed away that thought ruthlessly. Those kinds of insecurities had no place here. She wanted to build something, not be beholden to something. Grow something like Lilly and Brandon and Will and Tori had. Not codependent, insecure mind games. Something real. Cora had to believe she was capable of that, and, if she was, Shane was by far the best chance she’d ever take.

  “I’ll let you know when I pick up Micah what evening I’m free. Maybe we can go square dancing.”

  He laughed. “I’ll suffer through a lot of things for a woman I like, but it won’t be dancing. I can promise you that.”

  “Hmm,” was all Cora said in return before tapping her steering wheel. “Well, I gotta go. See you soon.”

  “He’s in good hands,” Shane assured, patting the door as he stepped away from it.

  “I know,” she responded, and she did know that. It was a gift in and of itself, and some piece of the many pieces that made up what she liked about him. She gave a little wave, then turned around in the lane and headed off the Tyler ranch and toward Mile High Adventures.

  When she arrived at the pretty wood cabin that made up the main offices, she was about ten minutes later than she’d planned. Punctuality was one of those things Lilly was always getting on her over, and it was one of the things she had a hard time managing.

  On a little sigh, Cora got out of the car and headed for the office. Before she even opened the door she heard the wailing of two babies. She could barely remember Micah’s being a baby, those sounds, and all the work that went with quelling them. She’d just been a tired heap of nerves, hoping she could find some way to make Stephen love her and take care of them.

  She much preferred the present. She opened the office door to find the kind of chaos that had her pressing her lips together. Hayley and Sam were helplessly handing a screaming Aiden back and forth, while Tori awkwardly held Grace, and Skeet desperately jangled a rattle at her.

  “Well. This is quite the picture.”

  They all glanced at Cora, and, as if they were all of one mind, their expressions went from embarrassed to relieved in a New York minute.

  “You know what to do with these things,” Tori said, moving toward her quickly. “Take it.”

  “Tori,” Cora admonished, dropping her bag and taking the screaming bundle into her arms. Cora snuggled Grace close. “What’s a matter, baby? And who on earth left you with these people?”

  “Lilly had some appointment, and Brandon and Will were supposed to be back before she had to go, but there was more damage to the trail than they thought, and they’re still out there clearing debris,” Sam explained, grimacing at the wailing baby in his arms.

  “Then that madwoman left them with us,” Tori added.

  “Grace is just hungry. Did Lilly leave bottles?”

  “Yeah, but she said not till ten.”

  Cora waved that away with one arm. “I’d wager Aiden needs a diaper change. Which one of you is going to take that?”

  “I’ll get the bottles,” Hayley blurted, already rushing for the kitchenette.

  Cora rolled her eyes. “Can’t believe you all are scared of a diaper change.” She marched over to Skeet and handed Grace off to him. He held the baby with an ease that surprised Cora, but he still looked extremely uncomfortable with her continued screaming.

  Cora focused on the other crying baby and marched over to where Lilly had a little box of baby supplies. She set out everything she’d need before gesturing for Sam to give her Aiden.

  With more care than necessary for thin glass let alone a child, Sam transferred the baby. It was sweet, all in all, and Cora couldn’t help but wonder if Lilly had orchestrated this whole thing so everyone would stop being so darn afraid of their new additions.

  Cora expertly changed the diaper and talked Hayley through preparing the bottle. She made Sam take Aiden back, and, while he was still fussy, Cora instructed Sam to walk around the room while holding Aiden, and that calmed the baby down considerably.

  Then, she ordered Skeet to hand Grace over to Tori, who sat on the couch. Cora talked her through feeding Grace her bottle.

  “Thank God,” Hayley breathed, once both babies were happy. “I don’t know what we would have done without you.”

  “Survived,” Cora said. “Just as Lilly intended.” But it felt good to be needed, to be useful. To be reminded there were things she was good at. Things were on the right track. Things were good.

  And she could make them even better.

  * * *

  “How come you can’t teach them to shit in a box like a cat?” Micah asked, wiping his sweaty forehead with the back of his arm. Kid needed a haircut before the summer heat kicked in and—

  And that was none of Shane’s business. It was getting a little hard to draw that line, because it felt like falling back into old habits. Having a younger kid around to worry about. No different than his siblings, because the kid had a mother who could take care of him fine and well just like his siblings had, but Shane felt a certain amount of responsibility, of stake in his good care.

  Micah wiped his forehead again. They currently weren’t shoveling shit, so Shane didn’t know where the question had come from. Instead, they were fixing a warped part of the fence, a good primer in ranch maintenance.

  The ranch didn’t particularly need another ranch hand, but having a kid around to do the grunt work was still a help for all of them. If Micah got good at it, learned some responsibility and horsemanship, he could work his way up to ranch hand in his teens.

  That was probably thinking too far in advance, all in all, but Shane liked plans. He liked having a say in the future of this ranch.

  What he did not like was the fact that he was going to have to take today as an opportunity to talk to Ben. Mom had driven down to Denver to go shopping with Lindsay and she wouldn’t be back until tomorrow. It assured Shane the kind of privacy he preferred.

  Shane heaved a sigh, glanced at his watch. “Well, it’s three. Why don’t you run over to the stables and see if Molly’s ready for your lesson while I finish up here.”

  Micah hesitated, looking at the stables, then at Shane. “But this is the last post, right?”

  Shane didn’t smile, though he wanted to. He nodded earnestly.

  “Then I should finish, right?” Micah’s eyebrows drew together. “Or should I be on time for my lesson?”

  Micah was a different kind of kid t
han Shane was used to. His younger siblings had been wild, argumentative, and bullheaded. The varying sullenness he remembered from Boone and Lindsay’s childhood days, but there was a need to earn approval and a need to do the right thing in the boy that didn’t remind Shane of any of his siblings.

  It reminded him of, well, himself, and it created a new wave of affinity for the boy. Because it was hard to be this age without a dad, and it was hard to want to protect the people you loved and do the right thing and not know how to do either.

  “When the boss gives you the go-ahead to leave a project unfinished because you’ve got something else to do, you say thanks and accept it. If you didn’t have anything else to do, you would stay and finish the job. But I’m going to need you to learn how to be a good horseman if you’re going to want to earn yourself a spot on my crew.”

  Micah blinked. “Your crew,” he said, almost to himself. “Like a ranch hand?”

  “We can hire you officially when you’re fourteen. How old are you now?”

  “T-twelve. I’ll be thirteen soon though. November.”

  Again Shane fought the impulse to smile indulgently at the kid. Micah didn’t need indulgence. He needed to be treated like a young adult. Someone Shane would trust to earn some adult responsibilities. “So, you focus on getting good with the horses, do your chores well—which will earn you a few bucks under the table—and the more we trust you, the harder you work, the better shot you’ve got at a real job here when it’s legal.”

  Micah stared at him, wide-eyed and wondering.

  “Well, go on now. Don’t keep Molly waiting. If she’s not in the stables, come on back, and we’ll go find her together.”

  “O-okay.” Micah took a few halting steps toward the stables, then looked back at Shane for one long, considering moment. Then he was off, racing across the field between him and the stables.

  Shane watched him go, remembering that feeling of freedom and excitement. That all this was his. Oh, he hadn’t felt that kind of exhilaration in about twenty years, but it was still there. Deep under all the responsibility and worry and hard work, that little seed of utter freedom.