Close Range Christmas Page 9

  “I’m going to run through the shower,” Dev muttered, moving into the hallway back to his room. Sarah watched him go until Jamison cleared his throat.

  “Police took everything they could find. They’ll be investigating. We’ve got an unmarked car on the road watching, but that’s all they could spare. I know him though. We’ll still want to have lookouts all night. A lot of ways to get on the ranch without using the road.”

  “Felicity came up with a schedule, but I don’t think anyone will be sleeping until Brady, Cecilia and Tucker are back. Except this one here.” Grandma Pauline pointed to Sarah.

  “Go to bed, Sarah. Get some sleep,” Jamison said gently. “We’ve got plenty of lookouts.”

  She should. She was exhausted. These were the last few days of having the luxury of just going to sleep when she wanted. “All right,” she said, even though her easy agreement clearly shocked everyone in the kitchen. She gave Duke a hug and Grandma Pauline a shoulder squeeze and left the kitchen.

  Much like earlier in the day, when she got to the stairs, she stood at the bottom and dreaded the uncomfortable climb. She could hear the shuffle of feet upstairs, the hushed murmurs of parents hoping their children were asleep.

  She looked down the hall. She was going to be that parent soon enough. Whether the danger was over or it kept going for weeks. She was still going to be mom. And Dev wanted to be a father.

  It was a huge step. One she should be happy about—satisfied with. But Sarah didn’t know how to sit back and accept when there was so much more to have.

  So, why stop now? Danger or no, life didn’t stop. Maybe it had to pause for horrible threatening notes and gunshots, but she didn’t have to let that stop her completely. Besides, what if something terrible did happen and she hadn’t gone after everything?

  She marched down the hall. She could hear the sound of the shower running in the tiny closet of a bathroom closest to Dev’s room. She passed that door then stepped into Dev’s bedroom.

  It was also tiny. Sparse.

  Grandma Pauline had groused about giving the dog special treatment, but she’d relented...and even let Brownie join Cash inside. Brownie was probably up in the girls’ room being petted into oblivion. But Cash had settled onto Dev’s bed and thumped his tail happily as Sarah walked in.

  Sarah settled herself on the bed in the most comfortable sitting position she could manage. Cash put his head in her lap and she stroked his ears. It was calming, to the point she found herself nodding off. Every time her head drooped, she jerked back awake.

  After who knew how many times of that, she jerked awake and Dev was standing in the doorway in sweatpants and a T-shirt. His feet were bare and his hair was wet and he was still holding a towel. He was staring at her with his perpetual scowl.

  Her heart stumbled in her chest the way it always did when he caught her off guard.

  “What are you doing?” he demanded gruffly.

  Sarah stifled a yawn and sat up straighter. “Waiting for you.”

  He scrubbed the towel against his wet hair. “Why?”

  “We didn’t finish our conversation earlier.”

  There was a slight pause before he stepped fully into the room. “We did finish it. I told you I’d be involved with the baby. The end.” He stalked over to his dresser and jerked open a drawer.

  “That’s one part of it.”

  He pulled out a sweatshirt. “It’s all parts of it.”

  “What I’ll never understand about you, Dev, is you thinking I’m ever going to sit back and agree with your gruff declarations when I feel differently. You know I’m going to sit right here and poke at you until you have the conversation I want to have.”

  He stood completely still and didn’t say anything, his back to her. She supposed because he knew she was right. She was who she was, and that wasn’t a pushover or someone afraid to speak her mind.

  If he didn’t like that about her he was just going to have to come out and tell her point blank.

  He dropped the towel in a laundry basket and pulled the sweatshirt over his head in quick, jerky movements. “I don’t know what you’re trying to get at. You wanted me to be involved, with the baby or...didn’t care if I was or whatever—”

  “I wanted you to be,” Sarah said, all those emotions crashing around inside of her making her voice crack. “I want you to be involved.”

  “Okay, fine, great. So, you got your way. And we’re friends. What more do you want?”

  She frowned. If she thought he was being deliberately obtuse she would have been really mad, but he seemed actually baffled. “I want... I just think there could be more.”

  “We’re friends,” Dev said firmly.

  “We had to be more than friends to make this baby.”

  “No. We had to be really drunk to make this baby. And you had to be really, really persistent.”

  “Dev.” She slid off the bed. Her heart hammered in her chest. She could poke at him, and usually get her way, but this was more than getting her way. It was being honest. It was laying herself out for rejection.

  Because truth be told, all the things she felt for him, she wasn’t certain he reciprocated. Why had she avoided it all this time? Because she didn’t know if Dev could ever look at her and see something other than an annoying neighbor who was slightly helpful with the whole ranching situation.

  But that meant she didn’t know if he could feel something for her. Or did. The only way to know was to put herself out there.

  She considered getting up and going upstairs and leaving it at that. It would keep everything the way she was comfortable with, and wasn’t that important when there was a madman threatening them and shooting at them?

  But she found herself stepping forward, even as Dev stilled and looked down at her with that unreadable expression. She swallowed at her dry throat and lifted her hand to his cheek. He kept staring at her and nothing changed.

  But he didn’t step away. He didn’t take her hand off his face. She wanted to do more. Press her mouth to his like she had back home. Hug him until something made sense and the fear melted away.

  For so long she hadn’t let herself feel this. She’d pushed it away. Prodded at him when what she’d always wanted to do was...this. Be there for him. Help him. Love him.

  “I think there could be an us,” she said, though her voice sounded strangled and her heart was beating so hard in her ears she could scarcely hear herself.

  “Why the hell would you want there to be an us?” he asked, his voice ragged with pain. Then he stepped away from her hand and locked it all down. “We argue all the time. I’m old and grumpy and my leg doesn’t work right,” he said, his voice flat, his reasons just as flat.

  The only way she’d ever figured to get through that shield of his was to be infuriating. “So?”

  He curled his fingers in his hair like he was tempted to pull it out. “Go to bed, Sarah.”

  “Give me one good reason. All those things you listed? They’re things I know about you. Have worked beside and cared about for most of my life. Your grumpy doesn’t scare me. I don’t care how many years older you are, and your reasoning is pretty bad if you’re using your leg as an excuse.”

  “I am the son of Ace Wyatt, damn it.”

  He said it as if that was supposed to shock her. Or change her mind. When it was just another fact in a long line of them she’d always known. “Well, I’m the half sister of Anth Wyatt, apparently. I don’t know what that has to do with anything.”

  “Why do you have to be such a steamroller?”

  “It’s the only way to get what you want.”

  “You don’t know what you want.”

  “You apparently want me to punch you again.” This time when she moved to touch him, it wasn’t gently. She grabbed his forearms—to keep him there, to keep him still, to keep him connected. �
��If I was worried about the Wyatt blood, I wouldn’t have badgered you into doing this for me. If I was worried about that... I can’t even imagine. I never knew anything about my parents before this week. Not one thing. I told myself I didn’t want to. Because it doesn’t matter. They weren’t in my life. I wish they’d had a chance to be, but... I had Duke and Eva. You had Grandma Pauline and your brothers. That’s what matters.”

  “You always had Duke and Eva. I had the Sons. For years.”

  “So, I suppose Jamison is bad news. After all, he spent eighteen years with the Sons. And this baby? Tainted. Your blood’s in there, Ace’s too. Doesn’t stand a chance, does he?”

  “That isn’t what I’m saying,” Dev said, his teeth gritted.

  “Then what are you saying?” She had to swallow at the lump in her throat. If he said he didn’t feel that way—if he came out and truly rejected her—she would have to accept it. She would have to accept it and still allow his help raising the baby because she wanted him to be a father. He was still her partner in ranching. If he rejected her, she didn’t get to run away or cut him out. He was always going to be here, and she’d have to suck it up and deal.

  This was why you kept your stupid feelings to yourself.

  But she remembered that he’d kissed her. Even if the aftermath was fuzzy. In that hotel hallway he’d kissed her. They’d made a baby together. When she touched him, he didn’t bolt.

  He settled.

  There was something here. But it was Dev, so the only way to get to it was to fight for it. “You want to prove there’s nothing here or it wouldn’t work or whatever it is you’re looking to prove—fine. Prove it. Kiss me.”

  * * *

  SHE’D NEVER KNOW how for a split second Dev had been all too tempted to do just that—to shut her up, to stop this obnoxious, circular conversation, but most of all to have his arms around her.

  She’d been shot at. Pregnant with his child and shot at because of her connection to him—more or less. He wanted to hold her and he wanted...

  So many things he couldn’t want. “Sarah.” The problem was coming up with the words to get it through to her that this couldn’t happen. She didn’t want it to happen. Not really. Not for the right reasons.

  “It’s simple,” she said, her voice maddeningly calm and her expression heartbreakingly vulnerable. Like she was laying her heart in his hands. “Kiss me. Prove there’s no chemistry. We’re just friends. Kiss me and prove there’s nothing there.”

  He wished he could, but he remembered their night together all too well. There were all sorts of things there. But she was... She was Sarah, and he was him. Which was not good enough. Plain and simple. It had nothing to do with Ace and everything to do with him.

  He wasn’t noble. He wasn’t brave. He was a failure at all the things Jamison had tried to teach him to be when the Sons had been their lives.

  Sarah slid her hands up his arms and linked her arms around his neck.

  His body was a traitor, because it took all the willpower in all the world not to wrap his arms around her in return. A world of grit not to sink into what she wanted to prove. But he had to be stronger. For the both of them. For the three of them.

  Eventually she’d realize she’d made a mistake. Maybe she would with him and the father thing too, but... A kid deserved a father who’d fight for him, even if he wasn’t the best guy around. But Sarah...

  She deserved the world. So he had to be a jerk. “I can be your friend and think you’re hot and not have it mean anything.”

  She smirked up at him, arms still tight around his neck. “If you think I’m hot and it doesn’t mean anything, then you can kiss me and it won’t mean anything.”

  She wouldn’t let this go. Didn’t he know her? She didn’t let anything go.

  So, he’d have to somehow steel himself against it. Prove what he wanted to prove out of sheer force of will. Give her a bad, nothing kiss so she’d walk away understanding there was nothing here.

  But of course the minute his mouth touched hers, he couldn’t remember what he was supposed to be proving. He couldn’t think past her. He was no saint. There was no nobility in him. One touch and he wanted more. One kiss and he wanted it all.

  She opened up for him, just like she’d done at the hotel after the wedding. She wasn’t drunk now, but she reacted all the same. As if this feeling had always been there, waiting underneath the surface.

  He kissed her deeply, holding her tight against him. The evidence of their one night there between them, but that only made him want more. Want it all over again.

  She’d said she didn’t remember, but he remembered every minute, and it had tortured him for approximately nine months. To know everything could be that good, that hot, that right with someone who was supposed to be his friend, his business partner. The girl next door.

  Not all this.

  She slid her hands underneath his shirt, spreading her palms across his chest. He wanted to do the same, but...

  He pulled his mouth from hers, though his arms stayed locked around her. “We have to stop.” Had to. This was insanity on three hundred different levels.

  “Why?” Sarah murmured, her fingers trailing down to the waistband of his pants.

  He grabbed her wrists before she managed to get there. Thank God. “My grandmother and your father are in the next room. Also my dog is watching.”

  She looked down at Cash and then back up at him. “Well, I’ll give you the family in the next room excuse.” Her smile widened. “I don’t think you proved your point just now.”

  “So there’s chemistry,” he grumbled, somehow both irritated and aroused by her smugness.

  “Excellent chemistry.”

  “There is a madman out there who wants to hurt me and my brothers. You were almost in the crossfire today.” Before she could open her mouth to go on and on and on, he kept talking. Focusing on reality rather than the desperate want raging through him. “Sarah, if Anth knows you’re connected to him, it’s bad enough. If he knows you mean something to me—Liza was the target there today. Don’t you think?”

  She frowned, her shoulders slumping. “Well, yes.”

  “I can’t have you be a target. Not now.” He lifted his hands to rest on her belly. Felt the odd rippling movement of baby inside. “This has to wait.”

  She studied his face, blue eyes sharp and assessing. He’d always felt like she’d seen him better than anyone. She always seemed to know what to do or say...except when she set out to irritate him. He was beginning to realize they were all purposeful. The understanding and the irritation.

  Often just what he needed even if he didn’t particularly want whatever she was pushing him toward.

  “You know waiting is just going to give me more opportunity to strengthen my steamroller.”

  He chuckled in spite of himself. “Yeah, I’m well aware.”

  She let out a gusty sigh. “All right. I’ll be good.”

  He wanted his mouth on her, so he shoved his hands in his pockets. He didn’t trust her fake innocent look at all. “My butt you will.”

  She grinned. “Goodish?”

  He grunted.

  She bit her lip and he blew out a ragged breath. He couldn’t convince her he was the wrong guy. Yet. There was still time. Once the danger was over, yeah, she’d come at him even harder, but she’d have a baby. Surely that would open her eyes. Surely having a real-life baby to take care of would make her realize he wasn’t up to the task.

  If the thought broke his heart a bit, well, good. It would get him ready for the inevitable. “Go on now. Get some sleep. We don’t know when more danger is coming. Better get it while you can.”

  She nodded, studying his face as if she could read all his thoughts. Still, she didn’t say anything and eventually moved slowly to the door, but she stopped there before opening it. “Dev?”

>   “What?”

  She paused, that awful vulnerability and openness crossing over her face. “I know exactly what and who you are. I’ve always known. It’s never changed how I felt about you, or what I thought you were capable of. I thought maybe I couldn’t reach that part of you—not that it wasn’t there.” Then she left.

  I thought maybe I couldn’t reach that part of you—not that it wasn’t there.

  Not always so confident and sure of herself. Not always a steamroller going after what she wanted. He rubbed at the pain in his chest, knowing that realization would haunt him.

  Even when the present danger was taken care of, he’d have a whole lot more to tackle with Sarah. And his heart.

  Chapter Ten

  The sound of crashing glass had Sarah’s eyes flying open. There’d been a scream, she was sure of it. She whipped the covers off her and struggled to get out of bed quickly. It had come from somewhere upstairs, but not here in her room.

  Once she got up, she ran for the door. By the time she made it to the hallway, everyone upstairs was crowded around the door to Cody and Nina’s room.

  Liza pushed through. She gave Sarah’s arm a quick squeeze. “Everything’s okay but I’m going to check on the girls.”

  “What happened?” But Liza had already moved down the hall to where the girls were sleeping.

  Sarah grabbed the nearest person since she couldn’t get close to Nina and Cody’s door.

  “A brick. Through the window. No one’s hurt,” Jamison said grimly.

  A brick.

  “Now, now. We aren’t going to solve anything standing here with no room. Let’s go downstairs and talk this through,” Grandma Pauline ordered. She started shooing people down the hall.

  Sarah backed up into her bedroom doorway as everyone who’d been upstairs started to file down the hall and to the stairs, including the dogs. Sarah moved to obey, but Dev crested the stairs. He patted Grandma Pauline’s shoulder and headed for Cody and Nina’s room.