Backcountry Escape (Badlands Cops Book 3) Page 15

  So, maybe instead of a joke he could just settle in with the truth, no matter how uncomfortable. This was his twin brother after all. They had survived the same things. Side by side. Two sides of the same coin. Sometimes it felt like they spoke a language no one else understood. He loved all his brothers with all that he was, but what he shared with Brady was something unique.

  Surely, Brady’s censure was concern. Just veiled in that very Brady disapproval. “Well, I guess it’s a good thing I’m hardly fooling around,” Gage ground out.

  “What? You’re in love with her or something?” Brady snorted, but it died halfway through as his jaw went slack. “Gage...”

  “Look—”

  “Felicity, of all damn people.”

  “What’s it matter if it’s Felicity?”

  “You can be impulsive, and this is not the time to be impulsive.” Brady jerked a thumb toward the door where Felicity had disappeared. “She’s not the girl to be impulsive with.”

  Gage shook his head. He’d never felt sorry for Brady. Brady was the smartest, the most even-keeled of all six of them. Everyone liked Brady everywhere he went. He was the best of them.

  If Brady didn’t understand that love was impulsive and just plain inconvenient, but there and necessary and impossible to ignore, well, he did feel sorry for Brady and hoped his twin would learn someday what love—inconvenient, out-of-the-blue love—could do.

  “She’s not a girl, Brady.”

  “I know that.”

  “I don’t think you get it. Even with everything she did—including save my life—I don’t think you get it. That’s okay. You don’t need to. This is not a situation where we require your input.”

  Brady opened his mouth, but Gage shook his head.

  “Input. Not. Required.”

  “Fine,” Brady replied tightly. “Then I guess we should get back to dessert.” He turned for the door. “And Duke kicking your butt,” he muttered under his breath.

  Maybe. But it was a risk Gage would take—couldn’t help taking. Still, with honesty came the need for more of it.

  “Did he have a weapon—just for you?” Gage asked before Brady could go back inside.

  Brady paused at the door. When he turned around it was slow and careful, his expression carefully blank. He didn’t meet Gage’s gaze when he spoke. “He threw knives. To teach me to expect the unexpected.”

  There was more to that, and Gage wanted to know it all, but they didn’t have time to get that deep into it. “Did he tell you you were special, so he had to be harder on you?”

  Brady let out a long breath, but when he spoke it was detached and rote. “He said I was stupid and worthless, so he’d do what he could to make a man out of me.”

  Gage could only stare at his brother at first. He’d never imagined. Brady. By far the smartest of them, at least the one who tried the hardest. He could have gone to medical school and become a doctor if Grandma had had access to the money or the understanding of how college worked.

  But it made a sick twisted sense, in that Ace way things clicked together. They were twins and Ace had somehow used that against them. Make Brady work harder. Make Gage shrink away from what he was.

  Brady shrugged, an out-of-character, impatient gesture for him. “We don’t talk about this. What’s the point?”

  “I would have said there wasn’t one just last week, but now I think we should. All of us. It would make us stronger against him. When you can... When you can let it go and someone understands, it changes something, Brady. And we all understand.”

  Brady met his gaze then, something wry in his expression. “Yeah, maybe, but good luck getting through to Dev on that score.”

  “We’ll work on it.” Gage was certain they needed to. “And there’s something else we need to work on. I want you to help me find Felicity’s father. She can’t rest until he’s found one way or another.”

  “We’re looking.”

  “I don’t mean casually or leaving it up to Pennington County. I mean you and me. Really looking.”

  “You aren’t up for it yet.” Brady tapped his temple. “That concussion was serious, Gage. The rest will heal no problem, but you don’t want to take chances with your brain.”

  “Okay, so I’ll take a few days. But...”

  Brady sighed heavily. “She needs closure. And you’re going to make sure she gets it.”

  “Damn straight.” She’d saved his life. He loved her, as uncomfortable as he was with that. He owed her something. He’d give her this. Whatever it took.

  Chapter Seventeen

  By the time they managed to convince everyone that Gage was well enough to spend the night on his own, and that she would be fine going back to her cabin in the park alone—though neither precisely planned on being alone—Felicity was wound tighter than a drum.

  But it was good to feel something—even anxiety and a weird giddiness. She walked outside with Gage, Grandma Pauline and Brady still in the kitchen grumbling about that fool boy and his hard head.

  Most of her family had already headed back to the ranch, and she’d need to have Gage drop her off so she could get her car. She couldn’t very well tell anyone Gage drove her back to her cabin. It wouldn’t make sense.

  “You’re going to have to drive me over to my car. Otherwise, everyone is going to figure out where I went.”

  “I don’t think we were fooling Brady any. He very clearly knows.”

  “So does Liza,” Felicity murmured, tilting her head up and staring at the giant spread of stars above. Liza, Jamison, Gigi, Cody, Nina and Brianna had all headed back to Bonesteel earlier, but Felicity had to wonder how long Liza would keep what Felicity had told her a few days ago to herself.

  “So...” Gage took her hand in his as they walked to his truck.

  She looked down at their joined hands, marveled at how quickly that just felt right. But with rightness meant she owed him the truth. “I’m not ready for Duke to know.”

  “Ah.”

  “It’s just... All those years ago? Everything with Nina disappearing on the heels of losing Eva and Liza really messed him up, and we both know no matter how much he loves Brianna, he hasn’t quite forgiven Cody for being part of the reason Nina stayed away with her so long. I don’t want to hurt him.” She owed Duke so much more than she’d ever be able to repay, and that seemed reinforced by seeing her biological father again.

  “I don’t think you being happy would hurt him, Felicity. Even if he shot daggers in my direction for a while.”

  “Maybe.” Maybe Gage was right, but... “I need to do a few things on my own, really on my own, right now.”

  “You do understand that what you’re suggesting by coming home with me is not something you do on your own?”

  She swatted his arm, unable to contain the laugh. “Yes, I’m aware.”

  He took her by the shoulders, and rubbed his hands up and down her arms. “Are you sure you want to do this? Now.”

  She didn’t hesitate, because Gage was the only thing that made sense right now. If she went after what made sense, then she’d find herself on even ground again. “Yes. I’m sure.”

  “Brady seems to think I’m being impulsive, and that I shouldn’t be...with you.”

  “Well, it’s a good thing Brady doesn’t get a say.” She saw some hesitation in him, and she knew it wasn’t his own. It had been put there—that he should be careful, that she couldn’t handle it.

  She wouldn’t let anyone push her back to that place where people thought she needed to be protected or handled with kid gloves just because she was shy or stuttered or had been abused as a child. No. “I know what I feel when you kiss me, Gage. And I know how much it means that you understand me. And I understand you. I think we both know how special that is.”

  He stared at her for a long time, then he nodded. “Yeah. Listen,
I’ve got an idea. Trust me?”

  She nodded.

  “Get in the truck.”

  They both climbed into Gage’s truck, and Felicity decided to relax, enjoy the nighttime drive over the short, rolling hills of the Reaves Ranch. She had a spiritual connection to the Badlands that existed for some unknown reason deep inside, but she’d been raised and loved on these rolling grasslands of the two ranches that had been her childhood. If the Badlands were her soul, the ranch lands southeast of there were her heart.

  He drove out, deep into the heart of the ranch. All the way through the pasture, to the tree line that ran along what had once been a creek but rarely got a trickle these days. The Knight land was on the other side of the creek bed.

  It was so distant people rarely came out here unless a cow was missing. He stopped between the old creek and the pasture fence. He turned off the ignition and made a broad gesture.

  Felicity’s eyes widened. “Outside?” She couldn’t school the squeak out of her voice.

  “Seems...right.”

  It did. She’d rather be out here than anywhere else, and it was coming to be that she wanted to be with him more than anyone else—even herself, a rare thought for an introvert like her.

  He slid out of the truck and grabbed a blanket from the back seat, and she followed. The night was warm, though the breeze was cool. The world smelled like summer—grass and wild. And though it was very much night, sunshine lingered in the air.

  He spread out the blanket, looking something like a ghost in the silvery moonlight. But he was no ghost. No apparition. He wasn’t even a dream. Gage Wyatt was very real, and all hers.

  Not what she’d planned, certainly. Not at all what she’d expected. And yet perfectly right, down to this. Understanding her enough to give her this.

  The fog she’d been muddling through these past few days was gone, and while she still had fears and concerns and complex emotions over what had transpired, this was simple. And true.

  She rose to her toes and kissed him. The stars and moon shone, the breeze slid over them, and Gage kissed her until there was only him—her own universe for the having.

  He laid her out on the blanket, covered her. There was no room for nerves—why would there be? Unlike everything else in her life, she was sure of this, sure of him.

  Because he undressed her with reverence, whispered all sorts of wonderful things against her skin. He made her feel beautiful and whole and strong.

  She’d always wanted to feel strong, and it wasn’t that he was giving her strength—it was that he was showing her all the ways it already existed. And now that she saw, now that she knew, what couldn’t she do?

  She kissed him, touched him—tracing his bandages and the wounds Ace had marked on him with her fingers, with her mouth. She tried to imbue some sort of healing property to the touches, but when she opened herself to him, she knew what true healing was.

  Acceptance. Understanding. Finding where you belonged. Building hope together.

  She let herself surrender completely to pleasure and that hope, gave herself over to the wave of it. The immensity of it.

  She’d been through too much for that to scare her—how much she felt, how much she wanted. There was no room for fear when he moved inside her, with her, together until a sparkling, all-encompassing pleasure pulsed through her.

  He gathered her up close, wrapping them in the blanket, the stars vibrant and all but vibrating in their velvet South Dakota sky.

  She snuggled into Gage, breathed the mix of him and outside. This had been the first step toward her future.

  She knew what the next was, though she didn’t want to think about it in the happy, sated afterglow.

  Unfortunately, Gage wasn’t going to like that one.

  She’d ignore it for now, and she wouldn’t tell him yet.

  There were some things you had to do alone, no matter how nice it felt to be together.

  * * *

  GAGE HAD DRIVEN her back to her car so she could follow him to his apartment if only because she’d been fretful over his head wound.

  He wasn’t sure what sleeping out under the stars would do to make it worse, but he hated to see all that worry on her shoulders because of him. Even if he didn’t mind a little fretting on her part, like she might feel some fraction of the care blooming inside of him.

  Hell, it wasn’t care, it was love. He kept wanting to deny it, but how could he when her red hair was spread out over his pillowcase? Her face was slack in sleep, one arm tucked under her pillow and one pressed up against his.

  Felicity had spent the night in his bed, snuggled up to him like she belonged there. It felt like she did. It felt like she thought it did.

  Still there was a sheen of anxiety to it. Whether it was her missing father, the ever-present threat of Ace—no matter how many high-security prisons they put him into—or Gage’s own nerves at the idea of loving someone so...

  Perfect wasn’t the right word. He’d be afraid to touch perfect, but she was perfect for him somehow. Matched.

  He’d never thought he’d be in love—especially not with someone who’d been hung up on his brother not all that long ago. He’d never thought he’d find himself dreaming of a particular kind of future that wasn’t: be a cop, have fun, protect his family from Ace.

  He touched the bandage on his head. He was still achy and knew he wouldn’t be cleared to work for a while yet. Maybe he could be doing desk hours by the end of the week, but Gage hardly looked forward to that.

  So, he wouldn’t look forward. He’d enjoy his present.

  Felicity moved, yawning and stretching as she rolled into him. Her eyes blinked open, that dark, intoxicating green. Her mouth curved. “Morning,” she murmured sleepily.

  “Morning,” he replied, his voice rusty—and not from sleep.

  She pressed a kiss to one of the scratches on his arm. She didn’t fuss over the marks Ace had put on him. Instead, she treated them with a kind of reverence that made him feel vulnerable, but not in that fearful way he had as a child. This was something else. Not weakness, not fear, but hope and love, he supposed.

  “I need to get up and get going,” she said, yawning again as her eyes seemed to focus and engage.

  He had no doubt Felicity Harrison was a morning person.

  “What’s the rush?”

  “I want to give my cabin a good clean, and I need to get my uniforms ready for tomorrow.” She gave him a quick peck and slid out of bed. She grabbed her T-shirt from the floor and slid it over her head.

  A pity.

  She shook out her sleep-and-sex-rumpled hair and then began to separate it into sections. It was mesmerizing, but his brain kicked into gear over what she’d just said.

  “Are you sure you should be out there all alone?”

  She pushed out a breath and began to braid her hair. “No. But I think I have to. I can’t live scared Ace might get through again and...” She paused twisting the band around the end of her braid and looked at him, a heartbreaking desolation in her gaze. “I haven’t said this to anyone, but I don’t think my father could have survived, Gage. I really think he has to be dead. Which means they might never find him. Not if animals got to him. It’s so big, so vast, and I just have to live with the uncertainty I guess, but I’m mostly certain.”

  It killed him that she blamed herself, but he knew how sneaky and hard to shake blame could be. He got out of bed, didn’t bother with his shirt and just pulled his boxers on. “Okay, but I want you to take one of those button things Cody makes. The emergency call. You shouldn’t be out there without cell service. Regardless.”

  She frowned at him as he crossed to her. “I’ll have my radio when I’m on duty.”

  “I’m talking when you’re off duty, babe. It’s a drive from here to there.”

  She wrinkled her nose and finished with her
hair. “I do not like babe.”

  “Sweetheart, honey, darlin’.” He tugged the tight braid. “Red.”

  Her mouth curved. “Red’s okay.”

  And it was that, her standing there in a rumpled T-shirt, her hair smoothly braided and her smile still sleepy that did it, completely and irrevocably. “I love you, Felicity.” He hadn’t meant to say it out loud, or if he had, he hadn’t thought it through. Things were different for her. He’d been halfway in love with her for something like two years, and she’d been mooning over his twin brother, no matter the reasons. “You should take some time with that. I’ve had longer to think about it.”

  She stared up at him as if she’d frozen when he’d said those words. She blinked once but, other than that, didn’t move. But he knew she was thinking, taking it in, in that rational way of hers. “B-but l-love doesn’t really have to do with thinking,” she said thoughtfully, eyebrows knitting together. “Accepting it does, I guess, but love is there, either way.”

  “I don’t know.”

  “You wouldn’t have chosen to love me, Gage.”

  “Why not? You’re beautiful and sweet and smart, and kind of a badass, if you haven’t noticed.”

  She nearly grinned at that. “You’re all of those things, too, you know.” She inhaled deeply, keeping her gaze steady on his. Her hands curled around his forearms, and he was almost certain she was about to let him down gently.

  “I love you, too,” she said, instead. “Maybe I need to think some about what to do with that, but I feel it, either way.”

  He had to clear his throat to speak. “Well, same page then, Red.”

  She nodded, still staring up at him. “You know, when I got that first summer internship at the National Park Service, I didn’t let myself really dream about someday getting the full-time position here at home. When I finally got it, I told myself I’d believe that my dreams could come true if I worked really hard.”

  “I think you ended up with the wrong twin,” he half joked.

  She shook her head. “No. Brady was a nice enough placeholder, but I didn’t want him. I wanted someone kind and good who understood me and made me feel like...this. That was never him, not really. But it’s been you.”