Too Close to Resist Read online

  “Excellent idea.”

  She smiled. He wanted her to keep smiling. To stop looking so sad and beat down. He wished there were something he could do to change things for her. He couldn’t. But, hell, he could distract her, and himself.

  This time the kiss was a little desperate, for both of them. Entwined in her, he could forget a lot. She made all the parts of his brain quiet. He would drown in that feeling if he could.

  This time, it was his phone interrupting him. Slowly he became aware it was afternoon on a Wednesday and instead of being at his desk, doing the work he usually lived for, he was kissing Grace.

  Well, it was a hell of a trade.

  “You have to get back to work.”

  He didn’t want to. It wasn’t the first surprise of the day, but it was still a bit of a surprise. He’d rather stay right here and explore this almost normal guy he was finding behind all those walls he’d built up.

  But he did have to get back, whether he wanted to or not. “Yeah.”

  She patted his cheek. “Well, get back to work, then.”

  “Tonight, um, we should...”

  She raised an eyebrow and he had to clear his throat. Pathetic. He was bad at a lot of things, but usually not quite so clumsy at asking a woman out. “Go out to dinner.”

  “If my jail warden releases me.”

  “I’m sure you’ll find a way.”

  She smiled, a wide, bright smile that made him feel like a hero. He ignored the voice that told him he’d never be a hero.

  “All right. It’s a date.”

  “A date.” A date with Grace McKnight. Well, surely stranger things had happened. Somewhere.

  * * *

  “YOU SHOULD ASK Susan or Kelly. My date wardrobe is pretty limited.” Leah stretched out on Grace’s bed.

  “You’re closer to my size and closer to my comfort zone.” Grace pawed through the messy pile of clothes Leah had brought after her last job of the day.

  “Fair enough. If you’re looking for my vote, wear the black T-shirt with my jean skirt and then the black boots.”

  Grace studied the outfit. “Awfully black.”

  “Black, gray and brown are what I bring to the table. You could wear colorful jewelry or that pinkish scarf.”

  Grace nodded, considering her options.

  “So you’re going on a date?”

  “Yeah.”

  “With Kyle.”

  Grace pretended to be very interested in the floral pattern on the scarf. “That’s the plan.” Since Grace hadn’t had a female friend in ages to talk to about this kind of thing, and hadn’t exactly done the whole date thing in a while, she couldn’t help but look at Leah. “You have some thoughts on that?”

  Leah shrugged. “None of my business.”

  “Okay.”

  “But you do seem kind of like an odd couple. Kyle’s so...bland. You’re the opposite. That and the fact that I can’t picture Kyle actually asking anyone out, it’s kind of hard to figure.”

  Grace considered. “I lighten him up.”

  “Good. He needs it.” Leah picked at the bedspread. “But what does he do for you? That’s important, too, you know. At least, that’s the lesson I’m trying to teach myself.”

  Grace considered. What did Kyle do for her? He understood, he comforted, he made her feel...special. Grace’s mouth curved. “He does a lot for me, actually.” Weird but true.

  The bedroom door swung open and Jacob strode in. Grace pinched the bridge of her nose. This was getting old fast. Now she understood why Jacob never got angry. He simply wouldn’t be able to handle it in a rational way. “What now?”

  “You are not leaving this house.”

  “The he-man routine is really getting on my nerves.”

  “Your house burned down, Grace. The man who put you in the hospital is nowhere to be found and you want to go out with Kyle, Kyle, and make he-man jokes?”

  Leah sat up on the bed where she’d been lounging. “Whoa. What?”

  “Thanks a lot, Jacob.”

  Jacob spared Leah a brief glance. “Can you give us a minute?”

  “Depends.”

  “On?” he ground out through gritted teeth.

  “If Grace wants me to. This is her room. Not yours. And you’re acting like an ass. Again. Maybe she wants backup.”

  “You know what, Leah? This isn’t any of your damn business. Stop butting your big-ass nose where it doesn’t belong.”

  Leah pushed off the bed and Grace wondered if Jacob saw the hurt on her face or if he was so caught up in his own idiocy he had no idea. She was guessing the latter.

  Leah crossed to her, effectively creating a barrier between Grace and Jacob. “Do you want me to leave?” she asked earnestly.

  Grace sighed. “Yeah.” She offered Leah an impulsive hug. “Thank you, but I can handle him.”

  “Kick his ass,” Leah muttered, sauntering out of the room.

  “Okay, what the hell is your problem?” Grace flung the clothes onto the bed.

  “You need to take this seriously, and you’re not.” He started pacing the room. “The police have nothing. Nothing. That guy is just...out there.”

  Grace tried to ignore the cold chill down her spine. “Yes. I’m aware. I was the one he beat the hell out of, if you recall.”

  “Yes. I do recall. I was the one in the hospital room while you were in a damn coma. So yeah, I understand. I won’t let it happen this time.”

  For the first time, anger and frustration gave way to concern. This was so unlike her brother, so blown out of proportion. She expected worry. She expected Jacob to want her to stick close. She understood it all. She’d been down this road before.

  What she didn’t understand was the anger, the barely contained violence in his declarations. It wasn’t Jacob.

  “Jacob, you can’t run my life. Even if I let you, that doesn’t change or solve anything. We don’t even know if this is what we think it is. It could all be a freak accident.”

  “Right. We should go around assuming it was a freak accident and going out on dates and being damned cavalier about it. How can you be this stupid?”

  It took a lot of willpower not to smack him. To throw a fit and tell him to get out. People who never had to deal with what she’d had to deal with did not get to call her stupid, least of all her baby brother.

  But he’d never, ever been anything but supportive up to this point, acting as interference between her and their parents. Giving her space. Treating her as he always had instead of like some fragile thing that would shatter. She held on to that little beacon of sanity.

  “Jacob, you’ve never questioned my judgment before.” She purposefully unclenched her fists. “This asshole you’re currently being isn’t you. This so isn’t you.”

  He sank onto her bed. “If it takes being an asshole to keep you safe, then so be it.” He clenched and unclenched his fists, looking as lost as she’d felt last night.

  “You can’t, though. Not really. You can’t undo this or change it. What happened, happened.”

  “I can keep it from happening again.”

  “No, you can’t.” Grace sat on the bed next to him. She was beginning to understand. She’d felt this, too. The impotent anger. The feeling that if she did everything right it would be okay. It wasn’t true. What had happened to her wasn’t because of the choices she’d made. It wasn’t because of anyone or anything except the choices Barry made.

  That was really hard to swallow, but she’d had to, and Jacob did now, too.

  “I don’t want you to have to go through it all again.” His voice was low and gravelly, his hands clenched in his lap. “I wasn’t there the first time. I know I came home when you were in the hospital, but I went right back to school after. I was
away and young and stupid and I didn’t do anything to help. Seven years later and I didn’t learn my lesson. I went out with Candy, I went on that stupid business trip. I wasn’t here and—”

  “Your being here doesn’t change what happened. My house would have still burned down. The bottom line is, in a town like Carvelle, Barry knew I wasn’t living there right now. If he did this, it wasn’t to hurt me...physically anyway.”

  “God, this is so screwed up. You’re comforting me. I’m sitting here making this about me again. And you... Christ, Grace. I’m sorry. I just want you to be happy and safe. Going out with Kyle...” He shook his head. “It’s the wrong direction.”

  “It’s my direction,” Grace said firmly. “I need you to let go of being angry and let go of trying to control the situation. It can’t be controlled. All we can do is...wait.”

  “I could hunt the jackass down myself.”

  Grace sighed. “Yeah. So could I. Believe me, I’ve thought about it. A lot. But I have to believe the police will find him and I have to live my life regardless. I’m not going to be reckless. You won’t see me walking down any streets by myself at night, but I’m not going to let this take away every possible good. I can’t let him do that again. I’ve come too far. If I can’t have some semblance of normal...” Grace sighed. “What the hell is the point?”

  “So you’re going to go out. With Kyle.”

  Grace slid off the bed. “Yes.”

  “Because that’s something good?”

  “Yes. I think it could be.”

  “I don’t think a date with a man like Kyle of all people is the best idea right now.”

  Well, so much for thinking she’d gotten through to him. “Should I remind you that you like Kyle?”

  “Yeah, I do. He’s my business partner and my best friend, but...”

  “He understands.” Grace picked at the paint on her jeans. “I know you want to. Mom and Dad want to. But you don’t and he does, and I need that right now.”

  Jacob let out a breath. “You don’t know him. Not really. Kyle is complicated and you don’t need complicated.” He moved off the bed.

  “This isn’t open for discussion.”

  “Grace—”

  “You need to go apologize to Leah for being an ass before she goes home. You were awful to her and hurt her feelings.”

  Jacob’s mouth went slack in surprise. Then he cursed. “She’ll find a way to pay me back for that one.”

  “Not if you sincerely apologize. Now go. I have a date to get ready for.”

  Jacob grimaced. “For the record—”

  Grace pushed him toward the door. “You’ve reached your advice allotment for the day. Now get out.”

  He grumbled but finally left, pulling the door closed behind him. Grace sank onto the bed, her clothes in her hands. The questions swirled through her brain. Was she being cavalier? Should she let her family lock her away until this was done? Should she put off pursuing anything with Kyle until this was all over?

  But none of that felt right. She deserved something more. Finding the good. Someone who understood. A way to fight back the fear still threatening.

  No, she deserved something, and this time she wouldn’t take no for an answer.

  * * *

  KYLE WAS FAIRLY certain even his first date hadn’t prompted this kind of all-encompassing nervousness.

  Perhaps that was because he’d never spent much time dating people he connected with on a personal level. He usually dated career-focused women whose schedules rivaled his. That way, it was usually time that naturally ended the relationship rather than anything messy.

  But Grace, even a simple date with Grace, had the potential to be messy. He was stepping into uncharted territory. Territory he’d promised himself never to walk. Territory he didn’t think he even wanted.

  Grace made him want it. She made all those feelings he’d been scared of for so long seem less scary and more enticing. More along the lines of something he didn’t just want, but something he needed.

  In a short time, she’d turned him upside down. He’d been afraid of that. The surprise wasn’t that she’d done it. The surprise was that he liked it.

  Quieting the nerves deep beneath a veneer of composure, Kyle stepped out of his room. He moved down the stairs, surprised when the nerves didn’t disappear as they usually did when he focused. No, this time, they intensified.

  Grace stood by the kitchen table, riffling through her purse. When she heard him enter, she looked up. “Hi.” She smoothed her hands over her skirt.

  Grace’s normal wardrobe was jeans or sweats and paint splatters. He could count the occasions he’d seen her in something else on one hand. But today she was wearing a skirt that hugged the curve of her hips, showed off her long legs. Her hair waved to her shoulders, most of the color hidden underneath the top layer of rich brown.

  Though he’d been less than kind about her wardrobe in the past, he found she didn’t look any more or less beautiful dressed up. He liked her quite well either way. “You look lovely.”

  Her mouth curved into a smile. “Thank you.”

  “Well, I was thinking we could—”

  “Knock, knock!” Mrs. McKnight bustled into the kitchen, Mr. McKnight at her heels. They carried KFC bags and smiles so fake it had to hurt.

  Grace stared at them openmouthed for a minute before managing a smile. “Mom. Dad. What are you doing here?”

  “We brought dinner. Kyle, you’re welcome to join us. We brought enough for an army.”

  “Honey, Kyle looks like he’s going somewhere.” Mr. McKnight’s smile sharpened. “Night on the town? Big date?”

  Kyle shared a brief glance with Grace; at her helpless look, Kyle shook his head. “No. Just back from a meeting, actually. I should go...”

  “No.” Grace clamped her hand on his arm. “Eat with us. You can go find Jacob and anybody else who’s still around.” Grace smiled brightly. A fake bright smile to match her parents’.

  Because he didn’t have a clue as to what else to do, Kyle nodded. “All right.” He pulled his arm from Grace’s grasp. “I’ll see who I can round up.”

  “Wonderful.” Mrs. McKnight was unpacking food onto the table, Grace watching as she chewed on her bottom lip. Then Kyle realized Mr. McKnight was glaring at him, and he moved into action.

  Kyle crested the stairs. Since Jacob’s office door was open and the lights on, Kyle went there first. Jacob was sitting at his desk, tapping fingers against the wood.

  “Hey.”

  Jacob spared him a cursory glance. “Hey.”

  Kyle noticed the considerable chill, but tried to ignore it. “Your parents are downstairs. I guess we’re all having fried chicken.”

  Jacob swiveled in his chair, smiled. “Date ruined, then?”

  “I guess so.”

  Since Jacob seemed awfully happy with that, Kyle stepped in front of him before he could exit the room. He considered his best friend, surprised things had turned, and so quickly. “Did―did you arrange this?”

  “Arrange what?”

  Kyle rubbed a hand over the back of his neck. Confusion. Discomfort. These were things that came with living life. Chaos. “Did you purposefully get your parents over here so Grace and I couldn’t go out?”

  Jacob was quiet for a long time. Long enough Kyle was convinced he had. Long enough Kyle realized Jacob’s “I like you” speech from a few weeks back no longer applied.

  “No, I didn’t.”

  “You don’t want me seeing Grace.”

  Again, silence was enough of an answer. He should go. Nothing about this conversation was headed in a place he could control, or really understand. His feet stayed rooted, blocking Jacob’s exit.

  “Didn’t say that. She seems to think you understand her,
and for now that’s great.”

  “For now?”

  “Yeah. I just... We’ve been friends a long time, Kyle. You don’t date as often as me, but you’re not exactly Mr. Reliable, and this is my sister. My sister who doesn’t date much because some guy beat the hell out of her years ago.”

  “I would never hurt Grace.”

  “Not like that. But are you willing to completely change who you’ve been? Because while I know there’s a decent guy under all your walls, you’ve never been willing to admit it to yourself before. She deserves a good guy.”

  Kyle didn’t know what to say to that, how to explain he wanted to be what she deserved. Because even though he wanted it, Jacob’s doubts were enough to bolster his own.

  “I’m not trying to scare you off, because she seems to think you’re important to her right now. I’m just saying, for our friendship, for our business, be very careful about this.” Jacob gestured to the hall. “Going to get out of my way?”

  Kyle stepped to the side, let Jacob pass. For a few minutes the words and doubts clouded his judgment, told him to go back to his office, to end this before things got more complicated and messy.

  But the words ringing louder and louder were what Jacob had said about Grace thinking Kyle understood her, that he was important to her.

  He’d never been important to anyone before. Except maybe Jacob, and even that wasn’t the same as being important and needed and...wanted.

  Kyle strode to the stairs. He wasn’t giving up on that so easily.

  CHAPTER TWELVE

  GRACE PICKED AT the chicken on her plate. She was flanked by Dad and Jacob and had a feeling the move to have them seated on opposite sides of her was very purposeful.

  Kyle was sandwiched in between Leah and Mom. Mom was going on about one of her current students while Kyle listened and responded patiently. He didn’t look comfortable, judging from the rigid posture and the few bites of chicken he’d taken, but he was nodding and asking appropriate questions.

  He was trying. It made her want to shoo everyone away and curl up in Kyle. She knew her family was trying, too. Trying to be all smiles and cheerful banter so no one would think about what was really lurking. It was nice, and it was better than lectures and directives, but it wasn’t the same as Kyle’s simple uncomfortable conversation with Mom.